Food For Thought - Thinking Is Optional

Ciao- Italian hello / goodbye, Chow- an old time name for food, Texting- communication with no regard to those around you. What would the Dalai Lama do? What 's the connection? Put your smile on and read why.

Hold on to your hats kiddies, N.J. has decided to ban texting while walking! Yup, cops in one town will be issuing jaywalking tickets for these dastardly offenders. It can be annoying, most definitely, to have someone crash into you while casually strolling along, it would be most distressing too, I imagine, to flatten one of these dolts when they walk in front of your car.  $85.00 is the fine, so as Bill Engvall would say...here's your sign! Using one's brain or thinking gives us a leg up on animals, right? So armed with that logic, look only down at a tiny keyboard while in the middle of traffic. These people are the reason for such ridiculous disclaimers as: Do Not Use While Showering (hairdryer), Do Not Eat (“peanut”filler in packing crates), Do Not Use On Teeth (power drill), Do Not Wear On Head/or While Sleeping (plastic garment bags). What cracks me up most is these are in place because of all the nutso's out there. Somewhere along the line a silly Sally or Ned the nincompoop, actually drank the damn kool-aid!!. Coffee so hot ...burned myself... sue Dunkin' Donuts! I got fat from drinking Pepsi 72 times a day...sue them. Ahhh America's mantra! But the lawmakers have trouble deciding ….nope... said I wasn't gonna go there today!

   Let's talk about food. Initially that was to be the subject. Food shows in particular, “Chow Ciao” being a favorite of mine. Can't quite decide if Fabio is gearing it more to men or if it is just his (very adorable) manner of speaking...it's always “you guys” and “do this for your lady”. Paula Deen has given us sooo many delicious recipes albeit most fattening. (look where it's gotten her) Rachel Ray, always racing the clock. Giada ...yummy, although I don't know why I ever trusted her enough to test, skinny biatch. It matters not whether I love to eat more than I love to cook. So anyone giving me an idea means I run madly away with it. (although not in the street while texting stolen recipes to my friends). Once upon a time the only way to communicate was speaking face to face, recipes written out and handed over to a novice cook. Watching the expressions as the realization hit that touching that dead meat was the only way it would become dinner, priceless!

   I know there are many more significant things to talk about. Much of it is tragic, you are all quite sadly aware of  bodies left on the roadside in Mexico, children starving all over the world...good ole USA included & yet I decide to write about food...yes. I could very easily jump on a soap box every day & scream about indignities, famines, filthy water and how we are destroying our world. Unfortunately, it would be little more than ranting for me and who would want to read the ravings of a mad woman...oh wait, you are reading, right now as a matter of fact! (You're not driving are you?)  I tend to make fun of things in general because that is how I am ..a seriously funny girl! Someone falls down the stairs possibly fracturing a bone....I laugh. Show me a picture of third world children drinking dirty water...I say, 'but look, her ears are pierced”. Something makes me nervous... I laugh, see an injustice... I want to sob,  just don't happen to think crying helps, so I make a stupid joke (or write a blog, perhaps nudging someone more capable).

   Remember “Comic Aid”? Robin Williams, Billy Chrystal, Whoopie Goldberg and a host of others raised money for the worlds charities all by being funny. (Nooo, I am most decidedly not comparing myself to these jokesters.)  That my friends is communication!!

   Sean Penn, lugging heavy sacks of food, John Travolta flying said sacks in his plane, Brad Pitt helping to rebuild N'awlins. The need for role models & heroes is real  putting aside whatever else is heard about them, I can very easily set these celebs up on a pedestal.

   We do need diversions as the world is still in need of repair, thinking only of despair & destruction will certainly make us loony.

   So make yourself a scrumpdeliicious (Dairy Queen?) sandwich, big enough for two, call afriend and watch a funny movie. After satisfying that hunger, you'll be armed with a better outlook and maybe remember to shut off running water while brushing your teeth! (see now that is helpful, saves your water bill & countless gallons of the world's precious reserve)

      ….and oh, by the way, the Dalai Lama is paranoid, believes China is poisoning him... don't hate me, but couldn't his re-incarnation maybe save us all! (see ...irreverent to the end)

         th- th- th- that's all folks! ...any thoughts to share?

                      Have a fabulous day!

The Truth About Being A Daring Kid

Ever wonder what ramifications would come about as a kid playing truth or dare? Of course not!! That, my friends, IS the beauty of being a kid. Should today's topic be “Whoopie, I'm running around in my undies”? Well, read on & decide; that is of course if you dare. HA!

Everyone has a story, a narrative or an anecdote about an unsupervised party in the cellar when they were children. Playing spin the bottle or T or D were fun when we were preteens. As we hit the “mall crawling/ driving the strip” years, many of us most likely got bolder or maybe just more creative. Here's my little ditty. (is ditty a story or a song, hmm)

  Senior year had ended, most of my crowd were actually graduated. A few were headed to college and at any rate we were all going to be split up. What does any red blooded American teen do to celebrate?...PARTY!! The last “hurrah” upon us, knowing it would be a long while before we'd see each other again, if in fact ever, was precisely why we decided a big bash was necessary. A favorite place to go had always been a lake house ... parents there you ask...pfft...where's the fun in that? Very carefully & conscientiously, we moved “valuable stuff” to a bedroom & called it off limits (we were out to have fun, not destroy property). Being the very clever & bright kids we thought we were, (recently let loose with diploma's saying so) food was prepared  for this shindig, basics like sandwiches, meatballs and pasta salad....'cuz we knew we'd be drinking and better to have something in the tummy to absorb the alcohol..(didn't think of how pretty it would be comin' back up)!

  Okay, now you have a picture in mind of the nice house, well fed talented kiddies all drinking merrily away, right? How many toast to us shots(never mind tokes) do you think it took before we were outside cooking on the barbeque pit and making a bon fire? Oh yeah, see I knew you'd be right there with me!! Now we're telling ghost stories, complete with the one about “the crazy monk” (yes yes, everybody knows that story...fill in your own city/lane/woods).

  Whoo hoo now Suzie Q decides we should meander back to the days of our youth TRUTH or DARE..ooh ooh pick me...I'll take a dare..... steal a sign from the lake. Now mind you these are not little tin jobs, these are solid wooden & beautifully hand-carved. I am up for this, oh soo up for it. So was Suzie Q, “they are really heavy & you may need help”, slurs she. Falling over ourselves through the sandy lanes we finally get to a “no doing anything involving having fun” sign. Then debated on the best way to remove this 3'x 4', bolted with a 3”x 10” screw into a metal pole up off the ground by about 5' bohemoth. (I honestly can't guarantee the dimensions, it was a loong time ago plus all those toast to us shots may have clouded the already foggy brain) . Nonetheless down it came after leg ups, pushing, pulling, yanking, falling, laughing and every other silliness. The best part though was when we spied the cop. Nooo problem, we took our clothes off, as our underwear looked like bathing suits, we were quite confidant we'd blend in, plus the jeans & tshirts wrapped around the sign would camouflage it. Slier girls they never had in the Lake Jail. We got are 2 phone calls. Suzie called home...I called the lake house, being conscientious demands it...plus someone had to go get my sign!!

  Have a fabulous day everyone, I'll just grab the wine (not shot) sitting on my coffee table; of course it's the refinished lake sign (God bless old friends)!!

Newsworthy Hero's

Stop the presses! News topics of late? Hilary Clinton wore no make-up! Doesn't that just make you want to “lose your lunch”!? Of all the goings on in the world we come up with this. Ok ok cool your jets, I know it wasn't the only story but it does seem to be the norm for today's happy gossipers, of this group you do not belong I'm quite sure. You have intelligence and if you do read tabloid tidbits, it's because you have an inquiring mind...at least that's what I tell myself while perusing the drivel on NEWS sites. Women today still need heroes and I'll take Hilary over Sarah anyolddamnday! Should the article have been about her maneuverings with a blind dissident? Well, I guess that's where the matter of choice comes in. The reporters choice of content, the reader's decision for worthiness or Hilary's opting to respond . In my opinion, she did magnificently..”I'm of an age if I want to wear glasses & pull my hair back, I will” I paraphrase of course, but you get the drift, yeah? I still believe that looks should not matter, but let's not beat that horse again. Suffice it to say today's journalists are more of a minority weighing in against their “distant cousins” the reporters or talking heads.

   Yesterday I dragged myself to the registry of motor vehicles, in the days when David Bowie was on the top 40 a trip to the RMV (or DMV as it was then) was ab-so- tively hellacious. Seriously, those people had to take mean classes as a prerequisite for a job there! Not so true anymore. First through the door a bit of a line formed, which did indeed move right along. My turn at the customer service desk found a young woman smiling (yes, you heard correctly) and asking if she could help me. Unheard of! Two minutes later I was on the bench awaiting my turn for Robert the rude or Ida the impatient! Instead, after a mere 20 minutes, I was pleasantly surprised with Suzie the sweet...I know, whooda thunk it? Talk about your ch-ch-ch-changes. We chatted even...I said her ring was beautiful, she said someone told her it looked like a tiara, which prompted my bringing up the Big Bang Theory's episode where Sheldon buys Amy Farrah Fowler an actual tiara. Seriously, chatting at the RMV with a person who all the while was doing her job. I was stunned. After walking out I started thinking of other people who make life's snafu's and tedium’s tolerable if not downright enjoyable. Two ladies at my branch library jump to mind. Once a week I watch these sometime saints deal with rudeness, but more so with chatty types (like me) who often tie up their work day. Yet these beauties are never short with anyone and will always go the extra mile to find that obscure book or what have you. (heroes) There are more, many more in fact when I stop my yap long enough to think! Do we want the so called celebs of today becoming role models for our youth? God I hope not. The 4 women in my rantings of today have more charm, class and sincerity than 20 each of the types that are thrown in the faces of our kids every day. Naming them gives more notoriety and since they are already daily news, I am positive it isn't even necessary......oops, this stop, tirade city,!! My point was heroes...we have them, they are all around us, just need to filter through for quality. Set them up somehow for the kiddies to take notice.

  Wow, this sooo wasn't the planed agenda. Oh well, it's not a seminar on rocket science...just a few minutes for a chuckle. Did I succeed ? Anyone smilin'? Tell me ...who do you admire? There are many men out there on my list as well, today just happened to call  the females to my feeble mind.  

   Here's a little side bar that guarantees a grin at least. Once in the house at the end of the RMV trek, the realization that my favorite jeans (old to the point of threadbare) were ripped  (not weight gain). When did it happen? Was I walking around all day calling attention to my big ole butt? Should I be horrified? Later, after speaking with my son (who had picked me up from the registry) told me he had in fact noticed and I would see for myself as the picture he took went viral.....HA, funny guy...then admitted most likely it happened when I dropped my phone and stooped to retrieve it.... my hero!!!

Play Nice We're All Too Human!

Happy belated Cinco de Mayo amigos/amigas.

    Writing about the day & how it came about, eventually wishing margaritas all around, was my plan 10 days ago ….but on the sidetrack is where I ended up, per usual, thus indulging myself with yesterday's Hippie theme. By the by, it was Arte Johnson not Artie Shaw who was the funny guy in Laugh In. .....no I was NOT sampling or doing product research for my ramblings!! It's quite obvious I don't do any research for these rantings, who am I Pearl Buck ? Not hardly, I may be able to relate a few stories about the goings on on the good earth, but that's as far as that goes (ok, ok, maybe not even that far)!! Jazz was wafting softly from my computer speakers so my brain naturally leapt to the musician, drowning out Arte's proper name. (that's my story & I'm stickin' to it)

   Anyway, back to the Mexican holiday, a blue million stories go out on all of these celebratory days and one more from me would certainly not be missed. I guess my fear also was to bring these two (Margarita & MaryJane) together. Talk about leaps ... the content of my blurp* was laced with marijuana and anyone jumping on the “Cartel Wagon” would definitely ruin my fun. I am of the belief that all Mexicans are not smugglers, all Italians are not Mafia and not all Irish are drunks, a little first hand knowledge comes in on that last one. Priests and police come out of that particular group at a whopping rate, pfft need a better reason to imbibe?? Every ethnicity will be disparaged in some way shape or form, so I'll limit myself to these for today. Coming to mind should be adages like: better to give than receive, treat others as you wish to be treated (maybe I should save this for Sunday when Mimosa's and epistles are called for, right?) throw in all that glitters is not gold and you've got a pretty good balance.

   We're not robots, human definition demands that we should all play nice together. Whatever the color of the skin, the blood coursing through each and every one of us is red. Some are influenced by color, even green! Whether it be money or envy. Oh look red/green, is it Christmas?? Maybe we should treat each other always as if it were. (don't mean to leave any one ethnic group out now, sooo...  replace Xmas with your holiday for special kindness here!)

Bigotry is not just a mistake it may be ingrained or passed down, but the ability to think is what makes us human, using that thought process will bring about change & if not... let them be pummeled with funny stones til they do!!

   Holy buckets this is turning into a sermon! Just so you know, I'm not a religious sort. Belief in the fact that we all need a faith of any type, and that that will hold us together, is where I come from. No panicking ... while the future may hold more Sundaylike dissertations, at least you don't actually have to sit in church/temple/mosque and listen...you can simply click off.

Benefits of a Administrative Manager Resume.

A great administrative manager resume is not something that a job seeker gets by accident. Writing a professional looking and great administrative manager resume is an art that requires skills and patience in the resume writer. The art of resume writing needs right kind of expertise, skills, practice and a lot of  creativity to come up with a resume that is both eye catching and impressive. Just the way every job seeker is different, every administrative manager resume has to be unique in order to highlight the candidate’s skills and qualities. A brilliantly written resume will help the employer or hiring personnel understand the candidate’s personality and professional profile.  Resume writing can be  compared with a marketing campaign, where the candidates resume is akin to a marketing communication that gets you an interview call for the job you are seeking. Candidates need to understand that when writing a resume there is not set pattern or formula that they can follow to achieve the perfect administrative manager resume and a dream job. However candidates can greatly improve their chances of landing a job by following a few resume writing tips and guidelines to ensure that their profile has a professional touch to it.

The main purpose behind wanting a great administrative manager resume is that it is an operative tool that can help you land an interview, and get you a step closer to your dream job. A badly written resume format can be the main reason that many candidates face rejection whenever they apply for a job. Not using the right administrative manager resume can do irreparable damage to your career as an administrative manager. Just like we need the right marketing techniques to help us buy a certain product, we need the right resume to market ourselves for the right kind of a job. A good administrative manager resume must have the ability to sell your profile to employers and make them look at you as the perfect choice for the job.  Here we take a look at some of the guidelines that adds an advantage to your administrative manager resume

Administrative Manager Resume Writing Tips

- The resume must be able to appeal to the reader-  This can be done by avoiding jargon, keeping the structure neat and clean, shorter sentences which are clear and precise.

- Ensure that your resume format uses Italics, bullets, bold fonts; there must be uniformity in the fonts as well.

- Keep your resume free of errors; having erroneous zones in your resume is a complete no-no. Errors like language errors, syntax errors, punctuation errors and most importantly spelling errors need to be avoided.

- Keep the chronology of your resume intact and logical. Your resumes should follow the following pattern: Name, address, Email addresses, phone number at the top following the resume with experience, educational qualification, extra curricular and other particulars. Finally you have to provide references.

- Accuracy is important while you provide your job description in the reverse order. It’s always important to write job descriptions in the reverse order. Always ensure that you are descriptive about how useful were you to the organizations with whom you worked, ensure that the description is not very lengthy.

- The resume must have a center point or a focal point, when drafting your resume do not diverge much from it. Be clear of what you want the other person think of you when they read your resume.

- The use of powerful words and key words will help your resume to be noticed.

Following these resume writing guidelines will ensure that you have an eye catching and impressive administrative manager resume, that will help you leverage your skills and expertise and help you stay ahead of the competition when you apply for a job.

Volume of Semen Ejaculated at Once by Various Species of Animals

Fifteen animals namely African elephant, ass, bat, blue whale, boar, bottlenose dolphin, bull, cock, dog, fox, man, rabbit, ram, stallion and turkey were reviewed to find out volume of semen ejaculated at once. Blue whale ejaculated Highest volume of semen followed by boar, African elephant, stallion and ass whereas lowest by bat. Man ejaculates 3.0 ml semen at once.

Volume of semen ejaculated at once by various species of animals.

Awadhesh Kishore

Sarvoday Mahavidyalaya, Chaumuhan-281406, Mathura INDIA.

Summary:

Fifteen animals namely African elephant, ass, bat, blue whale, boar, bottlenose dolphin, bull, cock, dog, fox, man, rabbit, ram, stallion and  turkey were reviewed to find out volume of semen ejaculated at once. Blue whale ejaculated Highest volume of semen followed by boar, African elephant, stallion and ass whereas lowest by bat. Man ejaculates 3.0 ml semen at once.

Keywords:

African elephant, Ass, Bat, Blue whale, Boar, Bottlenose, Bull, Cock, Dog, Dolphin, Ejaculation, Fox, Man, Rabbit, Ram, Semen ejaculation, Stallion,  Turkey, Volume of semen.

African Elephant:    

African Elephant ejaculates 93 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 10 and 80 ml, respectively.

Ass:     

Ass ejaculates 50 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 30 and 300 ml, respectively.

Bat:     

Bat ejaculates 0.05 ml semen on an average basis at once.

Blue Whale:    

Blue Whale ejaculates 7570 ml semen on an average basis at once.

Boar:     

Boar ejaculates 250 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 0 and 0 ml, respectively.

Bottlenose Dolphin:    

Bottlenose Dolphin ejaculates 30 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 20 and 425 ml, respectively.

Bull:     

Bull ejaculates 4 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 2 and 15 ml, respectively.

Cock:     

Cock ejaculates 0.8 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 0.4 and 6 ml, respectively.

Dog:     

Dog ejaculates 6 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 10 and 50 ml, respectively.

Fox:     

Fox ejaculates 1.5 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 2 and 6 ml, respectively.

Man:     

Man ejaculates 3 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 2 and 10 ml, respectively.

Rabbit:     

Rabbit ejaculates 1 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 0.7 and 2 ml, respectively.

Ram:     

Ram ejaculates 1 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 0.2 and 4 ml, respectively.

Stallion:    

Stallion ejaculates 70 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 150 and 500 ml, respectively.

Turkey:     

Turkey ejaculates 0.3 ml semen on an average basis at once. However, minimum and maximum volume per ejaculation was reported to be 0.2 and 1.5 ml, respectively.

Pros And Cons of Studying Abroad

Thinking of studying abroad? Let's explore the benefits and drawbacks of doing so, before you give your final answer.

To some, studying abroad may sound like a dream come true. To others, it may only mean additional worries. Understanding the benefits and trade offs of studying abroad shall aid you decide effectively whether this goal fits you or not.

Pros

Broaden understanding on living and society. Studying abroad especially in countries where the language spoken is different, shall push you to observe other's way of life. If before you find it weird that people submit to such practices, once you study abroad you shall acquire a deeper perspective toward the society. You shall understand why people value particular traditions. And consequently you shall learn to respect differences, and see them as more of a motivation than a hindrance.

Encourage resourcefulness. Being alone in an unfamiliar territory shall compel you to be open-minded and independent. Earning friends might take time due to communication barriers. And when you have nobody else but yourself to rely on, you would become stronger and more confident. You have to survive everyday even when you do not understand what everyone else in the room is saying, except for the writing tips you found on http://www.a-writer.com/articles. 

Boost skills. Employers love people who can work well amidst diversity. Big companies are usually global too. Hence, it is an advantage to be multilingual. It also earns you plus points if you know how to deal with individuals that are of different backgrounds. It gives the employers the impression that you can work well with a team, and that you can deliver positive results even when pressure builds up in the office or work environment. You also show that you can be an asset especially to a company that communicates directly with clients. 

Cons

Steep cost. Despite that currencies and monetary value differ per country, generally, it is still costly to study abroad. You will have to spend on everything you need unless probably if there is a relative or a friend where you can stay with, or whom you can share expenses with. But if you totally know nobody, you would have to shoulder everything- from school allowance, to groceries, bills payment and the list goes on. At home, you need not do this all on your own. Your parents can do the laundry or the household errands, while you are studying.

Inevitable homesickness. It is impossible to not miss it back home. There will come instances when you would remember your family and the good friends you left. You shall long to be in a company that knows and understands you fully, that you need not worry about being misinterpreted. This is especially true when you are having tough times at school. You look for a support system that you know would not bring you down, but unfortunately are miles away from you.

High stakes.The danger with studying abroad is that it might take longer and harder than you expected. First there is no such thing as standard curriculum. The quality of education, duration of pursuing academic degrees, and  course requirements vary. You need to conduct thorough research before you sign up for an application in a university. You need to find out from reputable agencies whether the school is an accredited institution. Sometimes, seeking help from your hometown peers might not be that beneficial.

Talk to others that have already tried studying abroad, so you can set expectations. Your needs shall always be unique, even with your closest friends. Listen to suggestions but ensure to also add a piece of yourself- your  interests, strengths  and weaknesses -  as you make up your mind.